Wow.

It's been awhile, and im sure you're all wondering where I've been. In fact, im sure most of the people who stop by this blog, have been lost since I last posted. I understand...im pretty interesting.....

Well, it's been absolutely retardedly busy. Im working till about 10pm, 3 nights a week, trying to catch up at work. There's just so much to do and so little time. (its cliche, but its true. which I guess is why the cliche exists...)

I finally got a few things for my apartment...so now its not just rooms with empty furniture. But its still not anywhere near what I want it to be. Nothing on the walls, or floors, but its coming. Slowly, but surely.

Other than that, there's nothing new. I've got no plans beyond the next 12 hours of everyday, cause Im either busy with work, or tired from work. But its all good. I guess this'll make Christmas better. (of course the copious amounts of booze I'll drink in Tbay will probably help as well)

I dont even know what im typing. In fact im pretty sure what im writing is boring. I think the only reason Im writing is because otherwise I'd might as well just shut this page down....

Hmmm. So thats it. Nothing new. Nothing going on. Still single. Still looking. Still no prospects(well, ones that I think are interested back anyways, but thats a whole other thing all together). So I think im gonna end this. I'll be back though, and I promise I'll bring something interesting....

I really typed all that and had nothing to say.

Wow.

Quick Question

Ok, quick question (im too tired to write anything substantial).

If a new disease(or condition) is discovered should it be named after the Dr. who discovers it? Or the first person who has it?

Ahhhh...Halloween

The only time of year when a bulge is an accepted accessory to a costume...




Delicious and tremendous.

Hey what a suprise! It's grey outside!!!!

Ahhh. Winter's coming. Nothing more motivating than the 6 months of greyer and greyer skies we have to look forward to.

Well, it's Sunday. My sister leaves tonight. It's been a good visit. I got to sleep in on Saturday and just kind of relaxed most of the day. I find it funny how most Saturday I spend alone, and you'd think that when someone came to visit that would change. But nope. She went to visit a friend yesterday so, I was alone again. Which I didnt mind cause its nice to have a little space and whatever, there's just something about Saturdays where people stay away from me. Maybe I'll start showering a little longer Saturday mornings....

Going for lunch in a bit. Just have to wait till the dryer is finished. Then im gonna make a pizza and salad for supper and then she's going home.

Busy week coming up. Seems like Im doing more and more everyday, working later and harder yet things are piling up. Its not too bad though, because I've realized the busier I get the less money I spend. The catch tho is I tend to eat worse food. I think that's why there are so many rich fat people. It's got to be. Im a genius.

Speaking of me being a genius. I had to look up how to spell "grey". Now, this is the kind of info normally I'd keep to myself in order to not look stupid, but I was so shocked, that I just had to share. For those wondering I wasnt sure if it was spelt with an 'e' or an 'a'. So I wasnt too far off. It's not like I was trying to insert a 'w' or something.

I need a haircut.

Badly.

If there's one thing about having someone stay with me, it's that I keep my place really clean. Why is it that Im ok with living in a mess, but not ok with other people? I think thats backwards. But probably pretty common in people my age.

Wow. This was a longer post. I wonder what's changed since I started typing...hmmm....oh look! It's grey outside!!!

What's happening?

Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep.

Nutso.

It's Thursday and im exhausted.

My sister comes to town tonight. She's staying with me till Sunday, so that should be fun. But to be honest, im looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning, more than anything. I've got to get home and clean up and wash sheets and AHHHHHH!!!! Frick. I just want to sleep.

Anyways, boring post, but whatever.

Hey, does anyone want to spoon with me? No sex or anything, im too tired. I just want to spoon. No? Ok then.

10:35 Sunday.

I'm sitting here, the apartment has that 'fall morning' kind of cold in it. Waiting for my hot coffee to finish so I can warm up with that. Mmmm. Then it's off to work.

I havent been on the blog a whole lot lately, cause nothing is really going on. Work is pretty busy, and so when I get home I usually just crash on the couch.

I wish I had a maid. I think that's the only thing I hate about working alot. I tend to let the small things go and my place gets dirty. The thing is, I could clean it up in about 15 mintues, but I just dont have the energy. Plus it's just me that sees it.

My friggin mouse is acting up, I move it around and it has this random kind of stall or stickness. Annoyyyyyyying! <----- (How do you know what letter to emphasize when you this? I just kind of went with the 'y' but, It was just a guess. Thats the shit they should teach you in high school if you ask me. Instead of Algebra.)

Ok, well I gotta do my football picks, shower, and then Im off. Hopefully something interesting happens this week, and I can write about it. Like, maybe, I'll win alot of money! Or get asked out on a date! Or someone will give me a car!!!......or maybe I'll get a coffee cup that annoys me and will feel the need to comment on it. Predictions anyone?

Oooops

Wow, its been awhile! Its Thursday morning, and I was just doing my rounds around the net to check the news and whatever, and I found something that I had to post.

I guess this girl was just really excited about her routine...




My favorite part of all of this is just the part where on the little picture to the left, they've labeled her "France's Golden Girl".

I suddenly dont feel so bad about being like 11 years old, sitting in a gymnasium with about 1000 kids in silence at a Tae Kwon Do tournament and then farting on the floor. Yes. That happend. But dont worry, I blamed the kid next to me.

Its Saturday! Saturday!

Went for dinner last night, and woah! It was good. Nice night overall. Had a few beers, a nice dinner, and handful of close games of Madden with Bryan, and like a 4 hour conversation with Barathor on the phone (sorry Barry!).

Ahhhhh.

Where's my coffee? Its noon and I dont have any yet. What's that? It's brewing? Wicked. Good work John.

Well, nothin going on. Just kinda sitting around, waiting for Bryan to give me a call, cause Im going over to watch the Godfather this afternoon.

Then, I guess its gonna be a night home not doin much. Which, right now, I think sounds like a good idea.

Woah! Coffee's ready.

Wow.

Today was the kind of day where there's a million things happening, and yet at the end of it you got nothing done. Blah.

Im in whiny sick mode now. Which I hate, cause it's a drain on me and everyone around me, but hopefully it doesnt last long. Im just staying in tonight and watching the UFC show. Should be good. That's if I manage to stay awake for the whole thing. (10 o'clock is late, you know!)

I got a ride home from a girl from work today which was awesome. Much appreciated. I was going to take the bus and was just not looking forward to that at all and then what do you know, all of a sudden she comes screeching to a stop in front of me, my savior. Highlight of my day by far.

Anyways, that's it. Im sick and boring. So im going to go lay on the couch and see how long I can go without moving. Should be fun. And if not fun, at least it will be relaxing.

Saturday

Well, I went and saw "The Departed" today. Wow. Just awesome. Scorsese is back. Such a good movie. Only thing I didnt like, was Mark Walberg. Blah. He totally seemed out classed surrounded by all the other names in the film, and he was the only guy that when I was watching, didnt suck me into believing his character.

Walked around downtown a bit, read in Chapters and then I went shopping. Found a sweater and a shirt. But holy shit. Johnny's gotta hit the gym. My tits are sagging, and im getting my belly back. It's not round like before, but the "muffin top" is coming back. Gotta get that under control pronto, or else all the ladies might stop knocking down my door. :P

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Cant wait.

Gonna hit the shower and then relax on the couch.

Saturday.

The Way I See It #141

The Way I See It #141

"I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, "hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word."

Thanks Starbucks cup. You've brought me delicious coffee and wonderful words of wisdom.

Now, if only I could somehow communicate to the Starbucks cup, that the problem isnt saying "hi", it's the flurry of terrible conversation I manage to trap myself in once I say it.

So, to all the people that will eventually find themselves stuck in an awkward conversation with me about "what they've been up to since college" or "where they're working now", with no way to get out, just waiting for the oppurtunity to say "Annnnyways, I better run" just thank Starbucks and they're wonderful advice.

Seriously tho, its good advice. It's just im mildly retarded/insane. I think it would be better if they had special cups for people like me, where instead of words of wisdom, they just had some random neurotic question, that I could spend all day walking around thinking and stewing about. For example:


3 examples of the perfect Starbucks cup for me:

Example #1--

What's the deal? # 136
Why do they still make fruit on the bottom yogurt?

Example #2--

Seriously. #361
I don't think people realise how underrated potatoes are. Seriously.

Example #3--

Here's an idea... #067
Why dont you write a huge blog about a Starbucks cup, you ranting fool.



Now those are cups I could really listen to!

The Big Book of John

So, as you can see, I havent posted in awhile. I really had nothing to say. Kind of lazy'd around all weekend, and not much else going on. But im at work, its 11:15 and im exporting something (which takes about an hour). So I figured I would write. I still had nothing to talk about, and was actually going to talk about the delicious orange im eating, but thankfully for all of you, something else came up.

I found (well, Kevin found) the BIG BOOK OF JOHN!

Here's the story, Somtime in 2005, a guy named Jordan started as a Production Assistant at my work. He sat up at the front of the studio with all of the rest of the production staff. I always go hang up there whenever im doing something like exporting for an hour (thankfully for them, I've now got this blog, so they can get some work done). Anyways, I guess sometimes (that's right sometimes) I have been known to go say some stupid things. Well, Jordan took it upon himself to start keeping track of those things, and didnt tell me. One day, he decided to show me what he's been doing and what has since been known as the Big Book of John. Of course, Jordan doesnt work here anymore and the book no longer has any new additions, but thankfully, due to modern technology the interent will always be home to the proof, that I may in fact be mildly retarded.

So without further adieu....

Good ol' fashion Friday night

Good ending to a good week. It was stressful, creative and even a bit horny at times. But the week has come to an end in a good way. Kelly came over, we just kinda chilled for a while, and it was cool. Now, I just gotta find things to do for the rest of the weekend.

I've got a craving to feed my brain tomorrow. I dont know what Im going to do. Maybe the War Museum, or maybe a movie (there's nothing really good playing though). Someone from work suggested the Art gallery, and usually when she suggests something, I end up liking it and appreciating the suggestion. Maybe I'll do that.

Or maybe I'll wake up at Noon, and walk around all day in my underwear and then around 3:30 I'll realise I havent done anything all day and then find something to do.

Anyone want to do anything?

An Update

Well, its 10, and I just got home from work. No biggy. What I was working on was really fun, so the time kinda flew by.

The real good news though, is that due to the real long day, and the fact that im starving....Im no longer horny. So all you ladies that were OH so worried. Can stop worrying. Wait. Ladies? Ladies? Are you telling me there werent any worried ladies?

Time for some KD. MMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Love,
John

It's gonna be a long day...

SO, it's been a real good week, everything is going really good. At work, at home, everything. But I can sense today's going to be different.

Im SO horny. For real. And I know that's probably not something you write about in a blog, but AHHHH! I dying over here. I've just gotta keep myself busy, and not really focus on it today. I've got about 30 minutes before I leave for work, and then I just gotta keep movin. But it's not going to be easy.

This isnt the first time this has happened. In fact it's been happening more and more lately, but I know that I just gotta make it through today and tomorrow I should be fine. Now. The weekend is a whole other story, but we'll see.

It's gonna be a long day...

It is 2006 right?

Cure for Polio? Check.

Penicilin? No problem.

Man on the moon? About 60 years ago.

Seedless watermelons? Better believe it.

A shirt or pair of pants that when dried doesnt shrink? You got it. Wait. What? They cant do that? You're kidding!

Seriously, why the hell is it that I still have to be careful what I put in the dryer? I just spent 1.50 to dry,like, 10 pairs of underwear and socks and a couple tshirts. Everything else cant go in there. Bullshit. Doesnt make sense. And it wouldnt be a big deal, but I've gotta scrounge around for that 1.50. Why? Because the machine only takes 1 loonie and two quarters. What's that you say? You got 2 dimes and a nickel? Too bad. You got 6 quarters? Get outta here with that sh*t. No siree bob, you better have 1 loonie and 2 quarters.

I mean, I dont wanna sound like a retard here but what year is it? How can we fly things to Mars, but I cant dry my shirts? It is 2006 right?

Seriously

How is it even remotely possible that I have trouble picking up at bars, when I have a stellar approach like this...



So smooth it hurts.

Why the hell are newspapers so big?

Seriously. Why do newspapers have to be the size of a tablecloth? Doesnt it seem a bit ridiculous?

Have you ever tried to read a newspaper on a bus? You cant. You've got this huge 12' x 8' sheet of ink covered paper, crammed in next to some poor person who's trying not to get a wild elbow in the face.

Then, there's trying to read a newspaper outside if it's even remotley windy. Forget about it. You'd might as well spend your day trying to paint a kite with a tiny paint brush.

So, now, you're probably saying, well you can read it at the table while you're having breakfast. Bullshit. I've tried. Its not happening.

In closing. 'F' you newspapers.

Good morning, good morning!

Wow. What a difference this morning vs. yesterday. Gonna be a good day. I can feel it. Coffee's a brewin, football starts at 1 and then im going to work at night for a while.

Not much else going on. Stayed home yesterday and tried to get over that hangover. Watched the UFC PPV at night. Just awesome. That sport is just ridiculously awesome.

Oh. Coffee's ready.

MMMMMMMMMmm...good stuff. SO, anyways, this are on the upswing. Looking forward to getting a slurpee in a couple hours (its the simple joys in life, people!) and having a meatball sandwich while watching the game. How can that not be a good day?

Jesus...What a night...

Im friggin hungover. Nothing more to type. I need a coffee.

Find the dweeb!

Well, it's 9:30 and I've got nothing to write about. So, I thought I'd post these two pictures from when I was a kid and in Tae Kwon Do. I found them online the other day. Can you find the dweeb?





Now that you're done finding the dweeb. Can you with a serious face, actually say that you believe that I've ever actually had sex with a girl?

Seriously?

Didnt think so.

World's First Two Gay Guys

Check out this link, too funny, Will Ferrell and Norm MacDonald from Norm's new CD "Ridiculous". Apparently this CD was something like 10 years in the making, and the part of Will Ferrell was originally played by Chris Farley. But he died the day before he was supposed to record the bit.

Take a listen.

World's First Two Gay Guys

Idea for a Movie

So, I've got this idea for a movie. Its totally at the earliest of stages. But what about this.

It's about a guy, who decides that he doesnt want his family to see him as he becomes elderly, so he decides to say goodbye and start a new life, without anyone, at age 60. So he basically says goodbye, and then begins a new life, from scratch.

Anything there? I dunno. Gonna explore it more I think.

My favorite time of year....

Lemme tell you, I know that the majority of people love summer. That's what we look forward to all winter and when it comes, it's so great. I love it as well. But man alive, is there a better time of year then when fall first hits, and you come home from work, throw on a sweatshirt and just kinda curl up? This might be the gayest post I've ever made, but man. I love that. If I had enough wine gums to last me, im pretty sure that I'd be happy to never leave the house ever again.

And another thing. How the frick does Loblaws make such good chicken? It's like crack. Really really good crack. Now i'm sure you're asking yourself, "How the hell do you know what crack is like, John? Are you saying you've done crack?" No, that's not what im saying. But there was this girl I used to pick up at the bus station every Wednesday night during the fall and we'd come back to my place and well...you know...do what girls that you pick up at bus stations like to do... Anyways, I'd never seen a face light up the ways her did then when I'd pull out the crack that she'd so politely ask that I'd get for her every week. (By politely I mean, the way she'd start breaking all my dishes and cut up my couches if I didnt have any.) Anyways, I'd never seen someone enjoy something so much, until I started eating Loblaws chicken. So, there ya go. "Loblaw's Chicken. It's like really really good crack".

Now that I think about it, I kinda miss her. Maybe it's not the weather at all, maybe she's the reason this is my favorite time of year...

Awesome Day

Now. This is how a Tuesday should go. Just a really good day. Sure, it was a little crummy out, but man. It's days like today, where I realize why it is that I love my job so much. I think it was one of the most creative feeling days I've had since I started working.

And to top it off, the day ended with going to a wrestling show at the Corel Center. (woah, was that every single girl within 50 miles of me collectively groaning?)

Im going to bed, before something bad happens. Dont want to tempt fate.

All in all, an awesome day.

Next time life's got you down....

Just thank God that you aren't this guy....

http://www.myspace.com/warriorontheedgeoftime

6:30 and I'm still at work

Well, It's Monday. Pretty quiet day. Not a whole lot going on. Im at work and bored so I thought I'd might as well write something.

So, I gotta take the bus home. No big deal. The only thing is, once again, I forgot my friggin MP3 player. What's the deal with that? Everytime that I dont get a ride, I end up forgetting it. Which means I get to listen to all the crazies and fat crazies ramble on the bus. Whoo! God, I hope none of what I hear is actually retained by my brain....

Im starving. Argh. And I've got no food in my house. Double argh. I have the urge to order something when I get home, but I think I've gotta fight that urge and go get some groceries. I think it'll all depend on what kind of crazies I see on the bus. If I see more fat crazies then skinny crazies, then I'll probably go get groceries. If not, I think im gettin pizza. I never thought the day would come where the more fat people I saw, the better it would be for me.

I guess that's what happens when it's 6:30 and you're still at work.

Check this out

I had to post this. My friend Barry sent this to me last night, and I just think it's awesome.

When I hear things like this, it brings me back to the days in TBay when our group of friends would get together and just do wacky/creative stuff. Then, I think about what we'd be churning out now if we were all still together. It'd be crazyness.

Anyways, take a listen. Im off to go get a slurpee and make my Pro-Line picks, then it's football time.

High School Announcements - By: Barry Fitzpatrick

How do you know that you REALLY need a cup of coffee?

When you get out of the shower and go to grab a cup and realise that you filled the machine with water and a filter, but forgot to put the actual coffee in. Mmmmm boiled water.

Who needs Thursdays?

I've gotta say, today was alot better of a day. It's still rainy out, and I still had to work on the same crummy episode, but I managed to finish it and get it over with. So maybe that's why it was better.

All I know is, all day I was thinking, "Man I wish it was Friday!" and "Why isnt it Friday?". I wasnt thinking that yesterday, and yesterday was a much worse of a day. So I ask you, who needs Thursdays?

Question

How come Chinese Food restaurants never give you the total when you order your food? You always have to ask. Don't you want people to kind of have their money ready when you get to their house?

I wonder if next time, if I dont ask, I can pretend like I thought it was free when they bring it to my door. Worth a try.

Before I forget...

This made me laugh today.....

Ugh.

What a day. It's rainy out, and I sat in front of my computer editing an episode of the show that im working on, that just plain stinks. There's nothing funny in it, it doesnt make sense, and the guy who did the story board didnt draw full panels, for about 90% of the panels. So I have to resize every single one to make it fit full screen. Ugh.

Im starving and it's raining, and I have no food in the house. Which means I've got to order in. Guess that alright, but I really wanted to go the grocery store. It's a real utopia in the Grocery store. No matter what the weather, its the same, crisp, perfect temperature, bright, I'm convinced that when you get to heaven, it's just one big produce department. Ok, maybe not.

Anyways, that was my day. Cup of coffee after cup of coffee, trying to make it through unfunnyness.

On another note, the goatee has one more day before it becomes a moustache for a day, and then it's smooth skin a sailin. So, any ladies out there that wanna make out and get whisker burn, only 1 day left! Oh look, I can see the line up starting already. Wait. That's just the empty hallway beside me.

Time to order my food. Ugh.

Did I seriously just walk home?

Answer: Yes.

So, for whatever reason,(actually the reason is cause my friend that usually gives me a ride was working late) I decided to walk home from work today. Kind of a long walk. Really long actually. Well, not as long as I thought. About 50 mins. I was going to walk a 1/4 of the way and then get some bus tickets and get on the bus, but every intersection I got to had a walk signal. How can I not take that as some kind of sign? Wait. I guess they were signs...

Anyways, so I walked. I think I'm going to do that more often. Only next time I'll bring my MP3 player. Traffic gets pretty monotonus after awhile.

I discovered two things while I was walking home. The first is that it's really annoying when you have to pass someone while your walking, because it takes SOOOO long. There is always about a 45 sec awkward moment while you're in the process of passing them. And about 5 -10 of those seconds you're actually walking beside the person. Awwwwwwkward.....

The other thing I found out is that while I'm walking, and I'm thinking about something, every so often, my brain kind of becomes a broken record, and I think the same thing over and over again. Like, the same sentence over and over again. I hope I'm not alone on this. Cause if I am, then maybe I'm going crazy. (That's right, going, as in, I'm not quite there yet)

One other thing, before I go shower and make dinner. I might be crazy (see above) but I dont know how to take something that happened today at work. For the last week and a half, i've been growing out a goatee. Maybe it's a good idea, maybe it's not. Not quite sure yet. But today as I was leaving work, a girl at work decided to come out and tell me that she didnt like the goatee. Isn't that weird? I mean, I didnt ask. In fact, I was just walking by and she started the conversation. But who does that? I thought you weren't supposed to say anything unless you have something nice to say?(I swear my mom said that once...)

The truth is, I'm not sure if I like it. And I dont really think I'll keep it. I dont think I could kiss a girl with it. (Not that I see that happening any time soon) But, it's this weird self concious thing where I dont think I'd be comfortable doing it. So I know the goatee's days are numbered. But who just comes out and tell someone they dont like their goatee, when they dont even ask? I dunno, just kind of struck me the wrong way. Plus, now, if I shave it off she'll think it's cause she said something. So I've got to keep it longer. Argh. Mom was right, don't say anything unless you have something nice to say.

September 11th

Wow.

I remember being in college when September 11th happened. It seems like yesterday that my english teacher was saying, that this was a big thing, and that we were to go to the cafeteria and watch CNN.

Now, I find myself sitting here, 5 years ago, for the first time listening to Howard Stern as he broadcasts during 9-11. It's so intense. I dont know what to say. What a feeling it must have been, to be anywhere near New York that day. What a feeling it was for everyone that day.

I live in Canada, and I feel like I shouldnt understand the devestation that happened that day. But I guess that's what makes us all so equal, right? I dont think you cant help but feel this way when you relive that day.

Totally insane.

And what, since that day, has changed? Are we any safer?

A Deal

Ok, well, after a year or so of thinking about it, I've finally decided to jump on the "Blog Bandwagon". I'm sure I'll be done with this (and have realised that no one's reading) in about a week, but I'm going to do my best to keep going as long as I can.

Let's see what happens....